We all look forward and see walls - obstacles to hopes and dreams.  I was reminded this morning that rewards are often just beyond those walls.

In the small town where I grew up, some of the most beautiful gardens were hidden behind tall fences and iron gates.  It was in these secret gardens that I spent some of my happiest childhood years - playing with dolls, having tea parties with friends, chasing lightening bugs.

When I went off to college we sang about those ivy covered walls of academia - a period of time when we could explore new fields of study, try out a new persona, dig deeply into our favorite subjects.

Walls can keep us safe...or they can imprison us.  Or they can just be something we have to "get over" in order to realize who we are.

My latest wall was retirement.  It loomed over my future - huge and dark.  I intended to put it off as long as possible because I was afraid  - afraid of what it might mean for me.  Retired sounded a lot like "re-treaded"   and so each time I came to the "end" of a career I had already begun something else.  I was not going to be useless or used up.  If I stopped "doing" what would I be?

Last week I received my final salary check, cleaned out my office, and turned in the keys.  Done.  Finito.  I was able to walk away from a full-time teaching career and trust that others would follow me and be successful and happy.  I was able to trust that even though there is nothing "lined up" for my future, there is a wonderful and pleasureable time ahead.  Time, like those secret gardens, with sights and sounds and experiences just waiting to be discovered.

Backward turn backward o Time in your flight
Make me a child again just for tonight.

I intend to be more child-like - laugh more and play at many things  - and resist the worries that have seeped into my spirit during adulthood.

How are your walls keeping you safe?  Keeping you in?  Keeping you away from true happiness?