Leaders know that we humans make decisions based on our mind-maps, those preconceptions based on our experience.  With all the information our brains are processing moment to moment, they create physiological "short cuts" that keep us from reaching overload and shutting down.  Over time we build pathways that smooth our path from information received  to decisions made.

Caller ID is the visible, tangible version of how this works.  The phone rings.  You look at the display.  Based on your recognition of the name or number you make the choice to answer the phone...or not.  I have a mental list of numbers that go right  to voice mail, don't you?

This is a great time- and energy- saver.  It gives us a feeling of control over our precious days.  But what if...?

What if our child wanted to reach us from an unknown number - say the hospital, the police station, or the school?

What if our spouse was trying to reach us from a company 800 number we did not know?

What if the person calling from the local charity was a friend trying to invite us to a holiday party?

Take a minute and consider those people to whom you tend not to respond:

• the boss who "wastes your time"  with great fishing stories;
• the co-worker who is always having a crisis;
• the child who is whiny or asks too many questions. 

Make your own list, and then think about what information they may have that you need.  Think about what it is in the situation or relationship that makes you resist paying attention to them. 

Now take time to make a list of people who tend not to listen to you.  Do they cut you off or seem to zone out while you are talking?  What can you do to change their response?

As we begin a new calendar year, let's be conscious of those mind-maps that serve us well, and let's work on reshaping those automatic responses that keep us from being effective communicators.