It was a simple statement:  "I wish you had checked with me first."  I had no idea how many ways people could hear my words, and how strongly they would react to them.

One friend heard my words in a political framework.  We were working on a project together for the community.  He heard me saying that in fact I wanted the final say on anything and everything he was assigned to do.

Another team member nodded in agreement.  She had a clear sense of the way the work was structured and how the tasks were to be developed, approved and carried out.  Of course she would always be sure she followed protocols.

A third member spoke up.   "I want to be helpful, but other folks are always asking me to do a favor for them..If we check with you before accepting additional work, you can keep us focused and guard our time and workload. Thanks for that," he offered."  He was evaluating my statement as a human resource policy.

I realized that as the team leader I would need to be more aware of the symbolism of my responsibilities.  When I communicated with the team members after that , I remembered to examine my intentions through the frameworks that exist in all organizations.  The politics, the structure, and  the human resource deployment  were going to give  added meaning to my words.

Have your words been misunderstood because of the listener's perspective?

How can you reframe your comments to make them clear and effective?